liquor and love lost; camden! « Thread Started on Jul 31, 2008, 11:13pm »
"I thought I saw your eyes, laced in smoke and cigarette curls." clothes. --------------------------------------------------
so, walking alone in the middle of the night wasn't exactly jullia's time of day. hell, no time of day was ever hers. some kids out there would dread coming back home to their parents. but boy, they had no idea how lucky they were to have parents who didn't take off your clothes for mere pleasure. sure, her father vowed to never be that kind of man. but here he was, in the flesh, attempting to do his own daughter every other night if he didn't have strange ladies over. oh, those strange ladies were definitely jullia's enemy. those sluts - whores, if you will. they were multiple replacements of her mom. the mom. the mom who had given birth to her and just decided to die in a plane crash with her two older siblings. okay, maybe she didn't just decide to die. but, still. she was gone and so was everyone else in the world for her. the only person she could really confide to was carson, but he was always out doing his drug things down at the thunder shack. she'd been warning him time and time again about the horrors of drugs. she couldn't exactly say he cared because he did. he was the only person that did. he cared that she drank alcohol in her spare time. he cared that she had done a little softcore drugs herself back in the earlier days of three mournful funerals. he was the only person that cared for her and he just had to be gay. yes, jullia westenra was completely in love with her own best friend. of course, she wasn't going to tell him. why ruin such a great friendship with raging hormones? it didn't seem worth it, which was the reason why she was taking it old school. just find the one out of patience and maybe dating. she didn't like to date, but it was better than not having your best friend talk to you after confessing. she just had to get her mind off of carson for a while. or maybe just the loving him part. if it was possible for her to love carson, then it was possible for her to love someone else. someone better than carson. it sounds impossible. but maybe the impossible was possible. if that made any sense, of course.
like mentioned before, jullia didn't like walking alone at night. but she just had to keep away from that godforsaken manor. most people would think she's crazy, but hell. no, no. she didn't want to think about it anymore. she didn't want to think about him. sometimes she wished that she could just erase him from existence. he didn't deserve to walk the earth anymore, he was polluting it like every other ignorant person out there. he was the one that was messing her up so badly. he was the reason her mind was so corrupted, so paranoid or everything and anything that came her way. maybe not paranoid, but she hated taking chances. even if she wanted to date other people, she was afraid it would end up horrible. like they would cheat on her or something. or they turned out to be meat-eaters. christ, she just couldn't deal with something like that. especially the meat-eating part. she was definitely vegetarian. she cared about the environment as much as every other person who didn't litter or do something shitty to the world. she just needed someone who would stick with her through the thick and thin. she needed someone who would always be there for her no matter what; who understood her views of the world completely. she wasn't that dense, though. she knew someone like that didn't exist; that there were flaws in people she knew she was to expect. if only there were someone like that. sure, a few childish flaws were fine. she could deal with that. as long as they didn't abuse her like her father did or they didn't take advantage of her .. she was at complete ease with the world.
jullia was in dire need of caffeine of any form. the late hours that presumed were making her sleepy and she needed a little waking up. if only she had the night shift back at fiera's cafe, she'd be making something delicious for herself right now. it was a good thing she was connected with people who worked at starbucks. it was like, her second favorite place in the world. sure, they got more customers, but fiera's cafe was the most chill place to be. she wasn't sure whether or not it was open, but she definitely knew it was open a lot later than fiera's. it was worth a try, right? it was better than going home and making it. that was for sure. hell, once she walked through the door, she wasn't even sure she'd even have a chance to step foot into the kitchen. her father would call for her, of course. and you bet he wanted something more than just wanting to talk. she shuddered at the thought, though most of it was due to the chilly wind. she wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes flickering to every moving thing ahead of her. yeah, it was summer, but it was cold as hell at night. sighing lightly, she was almost relieved to see the street lights on. england wasn't exactly a safe place to wander around at night. even one of her favorite teenage actors was killed down near a surrey pub. dying at an early age wasn't the type of death she'd always dream of. the only thing that occupied her mind during days whilst she thought of death was her father. she was so sure he would be the cause of her death. the reason she would stop breathing. the reason her heart would stop beating. bringing herself back to reality, she focused her eyes on the tiny cafe nestled in the corner. shit. the lights were off. the urge to turn around and head back in a different direction was tempting, but there was something about it that made her move forward. she turned her head, looking on either side of her shoulder before taking quick steps towards the front of starbucks.
why did she have to be so stupid? of course it would be closed at a time like this. it was just like jullia, though. to assume things. that's what turned off a lot of people. she had a tendency to just go through with her thoughts rather than trying to think about the outcome of things. stubborn, really. she stared at the small print plastered against the glass window. damn it all. now she had to go home and make up some kind of excuse for her tardiness. maybe she should just go ahead and rent an apartment for herself. leave her father without any clues as to where she is. but that would only trigger him to call the police in search of her. "damn it." she muttered, tearing her gaze away from the hours of closing. why did she have to be so clumsy too? the next thing that happened was a complete blur to her. all she could remember was a swinging door ahead of her. maybe she blacked out. maybe she stopped in time. that's probably what happened because her flats were still glued to the ground, her eyes shut tight. jullia didn't realize she stopped breathing until after she decided to take a peek at what had almost hit her. "s-sorry. i was just heading in. and -- well -- you're closed." if only she could do a rewind of those words she would. she was stuttering like a complete idiot. but not because she was being apologetic, really. there just had to be one hell of a cute guy standing in front of her. why couldn't it be someone ugly? it would've been easier, and plus, she was talking to her feet. "um -- sorry." she said quietly, trying hard to will herself away. it was odd to her that her body wouldn't allow her to move, and what was even more odd was that she wanted to stay. maybe today was just an off day for her. yeah, that was it. an off day.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #1 on Aug 1, 2008, 11:49am »
i don't know about you but i came to dance. cloth on my body. -------------------------------------------
camden hated working the late shift. the only reason he had agreed to work it tonight was because he needed some extra money for his shopping trip he was going on. otherwise, camden would have said no for sure. it was always after dark when he got done and so he had to take a cab because this cute young single boy could not be walking alone at night. no, camden was not that conceited; he was just a big pansy. plus his shitty apartment was almost on the whole other side of town. camden was impatiently waiting for the end of his shift when he noticed that no one had cleaned the dining room. camden sighed and moved towards the first table. all of his coworkers were so lazy. he couldn't really say that about them since they could leave the dining room for the morning crew and say that they were too busy. but camden could not walk out the door with out wiping down each table and chair and then making sure each chair was perfectly aligned. it wasn't exactly something that camden could control but it wasn't something he could ignore either. good thing they had given him the key to close up tonight. he would have to go over everything in the back several times to make sure it was completely germ free and so he would definitely be the last.
after camden had finished the dining room he headed to the back. he wiped down all the counters twice and said bye to all his fellow coworkers as they left. some of them gave him awkward looks as he wiped everything down several times but most of them knew him and was aware he was an obsessive compulsive germaphobe. he had been ever since he could remember; he had a certain number of times he had to touch certain things, he had rituals before eating and using the restroom and keeping things absolutely spotless was a must. for some people it might have been hard to keep up with all the things that camden worried about on a day to day basis. but he had always lived his life like this, so it just came quite naturally.
finally camden was done washing everything thoroughly and it was quite late. he felt it was a bit too late to call a cab so he would just walk-quickly walk-to his apartment. and even though he really disliked the idea, he would do it. it wouldn't hurt him to not be a pansy for one night. plus he had a cellphone. who could possibly hurt a kid with a cell phone. those things stopped all evil. yes, he was trying to make himself more confident-which happened often-but he needed to if he was going to walk home in the dark.
camden turned off all the lights and was very busy with important thoughts of what he would do if someone tried anything with him on the way home, when he walked out the door and straight into a girl, dropping his keys. shit he muttered carelessly under his breath. what a great night he was having. camden looked up to see the face of the person he ran into. even better, it was a really pretty girl. why did he have to be so effing clumsy; why couldn't he be smooth. i, uh-i'm really, um sorry. we're closed and i, uh-just was-um closing up. shit, now he wasn't even making sense. he had to stutter like a child. he turned to the door and tapped the handle three times before locking and closing the door. camden had a bad habit of staring at his feet when he was embarrassed, shy or when he met a pretty person. and at this moment, all three of those fit perfectly. camden really hated being so awkward. he was scared to look at the girls expression but carefully peeked up through his hair to give her a smile. the last thing he wanted was for her to be all shitty at him. now that would really end his great night with a bang.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #2 on Aug 4, 2008, 2:48am »
"I thought I saw your eyes, laced in smoke and cigarette curls." clothes. --------------------------------------------------
today was definitely turning out to be an off day for jullia. all day she had been obsessing over the fact that she wanted to rent an apartment with carson. she had even thrown out the idea to him over an im conversation just a few days ago. she wasn't sure whether or not he was joking, but hell, the offer was going to be up forever. he needed a place to stay and the money, and she would be providing that for him. but all he was really worried about is when he decided to bring in some guys for a little fun. she remembered telling him that she would most likely be out most of the time there. seeming that it was the only thing she did all day, it wouldn't really make a difference when she was finally out from under her father's roof. it would be an added bonus if her father just decided to drop dead the same day she moved out. oh, that would just be a ball for her. maybe if he did that, she wouldn't have to spend so much time outside anymore. she could finally just chill around the empty house and have wild parties. just kidding. parties weren't her thing. wild ones at least. she was more of the sophisticated, just-released-a-brand-new-clothing-line, kind of girl. she mostly attended those sort of thing anyway. what with all the free clothes and cute guys. but that wasn't why she officially counted today an off day. she was stuttering. it wasn't in the westenra line to stutter like an idiot. since they were high class kids, they were meant to practice such things as proper speaking and etiquette. but why not in any of her lessons, did they ever cover something about using proper speaking with a cute guy? if only they did, she wouldn't be looking like a complete dork right now, seriously. she just wanted to bang her head against the glass window, but it was best if she kept the boy calm rather than have him run away in fright. no guy ever ran from jullia westenra without a fight or a reason too, of course.
no, no, no. she had to be strong. she couldn't let a new personality overcome her again. she had been changing too much in the last few days that came and passed. and besides, shyness wasn't in her dictionary. she was an outspoken girl, a straight-shooter if you will. whatever came to her mind, she said out loud to a person. it was basically being judgmental, but not in a bad way, i suppose. she straightened her posture a tad, shuffling her feet as a means to distract herself. it was obvious that the two kids couldn't stand there forever without any eye contact. one must at least have the guts to pass a few words down before departing. rudeness wasn't in her dictionary either. she peeked up at him once more through her dark curtained bangs. a hand sliding up to the side of her head to check if the dark, satin bow was still in place and not dishelved from when the door almost smacked her in the face. christ, he was cute. jullia really couldn't get over that fact. well, it wasn't that surprising coming from a starbucks employee, of course. she knew a couple of people who worked here that she found quite attractive. like, jasper gaunt for instance. the manager. too bad he was gay -- not that she would go for him. her eyes were really set onto carson, or so she thought. just the sight of the striking blond almost seemed to change her mind. hell, she didn't even know his name and she was getting worked up. that was one of her downfalls. she usually fell head over heels for someone just by physical appearance. but she wasn't going to let this starbucks cutie get to her just yet. would she ever? it's not like he had to give her the time of day. he probably had a girlfriend for all she cared. someone like him was definitely a catch, and for a split second, it almost broke her heart. she hated it when guys were taken. cute ones, especially. they just liked to strut down streets like they were holding a neon sign that read, 'hey, look at me, i'm single!' and on the back, it would read. 'except not really.' oh, bugger.
the light coming from the heavy, full moon overhead made the wisps of blond hair look silver through her eyes. he was gorgeous, she'd give him that much credit. the shadows that played with his features sharpened them greatly. the urge to tip-toe up to him and kiss him on the cheek was tempting, but she held herself back. jullia bit the inside of her cheek, her cheeks flushed in the dim lighting. she didn't know why she was feeling so self-conscious. why should she be? she hadn't done anything wrong, right? there was an un-easy feeling in the pit of her stomach that almost made her want to throw up. maybe it was the fact that she hadn't thought so highly of anyone in a while. she sighed softly, gulping down the lump in her throat. damn, that smile he flashed was getting to her."oh. i thought you guys closed later. s-so, yeah. i just .. y'know." she shrugged her shoulders a bit, but not enough to actually consider as rude. she really did not want to go back home. she needed the caffeine for herself, and her mind was still wishing fiera's keys were inside her pockets. maybe if she thought hard enough they would magically appear. oh shit. she was seriously losing it. her eyes were getting heavy, though she kept up an alert appearance. it was exactly a lovely time when you fell asleep with someone attractive. okay, so maybe that wasn't the right wording, but still. she was just being a damsel in need of some lattes. her dark eyes stared at his features again, searching for answers. was he tired? was he sleepy? she needed to know. but then, something struck her hard in the head. a thought. oh, how rude of her. "oh, right. um, i'm jullia." without thinking, her soft fingers took hold of his hand. she didn't want to wait for any reactions or reflexes of the sort. introductions were better quick and to the point. though her accent wasn't noticeable as she thought. it usually sounded heavy, maybe she was malfunctioning in some bizarre way.
christ, could things get any weirder? with her fingers wrapped around his in a favorable handshake, she couldn't help but notice how friendly it felt; how right. it scared her. she let go of his hand gently, eyes flickering to the bold moon. "i know what it's like to work a night shift. but if you're aren't tired.. is it possible .. you could, well, make me something?" her voice was hopeful, it had gone an octave higher in the process as well. caffeine was bad for you, and it was obvious to everyone who was addicted. she was craving it now. badly, i might add. jullia really did not want to sound like a prissy princess to this guy. she fixed a crease on the hip of her jeans before speaking again. "or .. i could make it myself? i work down at fiera's, so nothing's going to be a surprise to me." she smiled willfully to herself before turning her eyes back to the blond. in truth, she wanted him to make it. she didn't know why, but she had this sudden need to keep him around her as much as possible. like, a friend. carson hadn't been around that much lately, he was still down bringing drugs here and there to the thundershack. maybe she just needed someone to talk to. she left her hands limp at her side, biting her lower lip softly as she waited for a response, reaction. anything to reassure her that she hadn't put him to sleep.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #3 on Aug 4, 2008, 11:41am »
i don't know about you but i came to dance. cloth on my body. -------------------------------------------
camden was considered a bit of an awkward and confused child. if you considered his awful past, it was a bit expected. when he was younger he had only a few friends and absolutely no girlfriends. he had never been properly socialized and did not really know how to act around people he did not really know. sometimes that made his job a little hard because he was not exactly the type to smile at you and make you feel warm and welcome when you walked through the door at starbucks. if he had it in him and knew how to do it, he would have. and because he was so unsure of himself it easily made things quite awkward for him. and the confusion was expected as well. when he was younger his father sexually abused him and so when he started school he always had a lot of feelings for the male population. then, whenever he was older his mother sold him as a male prostitute to whatever woman walked through the door. this was a totally traumatic experience in many ways. his whole sex life was probably going to be shit the rest of his life because he had vowed soon after he got out of there to be a reborn virgin until he was married. and it added more confusion to the mix because now his poor heart housed feelings for woman as well. this moment was not exempt from the awkward confusion. he was mostly in awe that a beautiful girl such as this one, was actually talking to him. definitely something new. he was not embellishing anything when he said that he had had a very large absence of normal girls and woman from his life. his mother did not even count as a human being to him and all the woman that paid for him were just cheap trash that were completely desperate. and all the girls he went to school with had stayed away. a tad depressing to hear this was one of the first real encounters with a beautiful girl. and hell if he knew what to do or say to her.
the girl was pretty enough to make camden completely straight. well, that's what it felt like anyway. it was sort of a sweet and sour experience for him. it was great that he was meeting a really great girl but sour because they had met in a quite embarrassing way, he did not know what to say or how to act and most likely a girl that was this hot was probably taken. whatever, he would just follow her lead and maybe in the end they could be friends. camden could always use more of those. the girl was a little short but very cute in a small and compact way. her hair was the normal type of scene cut but it looked very nice on her and seemed to complete her look. camden liked girls that knew a bit about fashion and dressed themselves nicely and this one obviously did. camden even liked the adorable little bow in her hair. this was awkward for him. he felt like a little school boy with a crush and he felt very giddy inside. he wanted to say something or do something but he definitely had no idea what it was supposed to be. he felt a bit dumb just standing there with her. and the short silence really made him want to giggle. which would be a total embarrassment for him once again tonight.
camden was a little surprised that this girl seemed so shy and quiet. she seemed to be fairly well set off and she just did not seem like the usual type to be quiet. but that did not mean much for camden; he was not a very good reader of people anyway. when she spoke, she had a very soft and sweet voice and he liked it a lot. camden smiled as she spoke but he was still staring at his feet. he was really happy she was here right now. but he could not ignore the knot in his stomach that was saying "do something you damn idiot, or she will leave." camden could not think of anything to say or do and when she introduced herself he was very relieved. yes, um, i am camden. nice to meet you. cam felt a bit tacky saying that last bit but it was all he could think of at the moment. camden almost peed his pants when the girl, jullia, reached for his hand and shook it before he was barely done with his name. she was straight forward and that made her seem all the more appealing to him. with just her soft touch in his hand, he could feel a million fireworks going off inside of him. it was amazing to be touching a girl who he actually liked and was not forced to be with. he had to clear his throat because he was caught off guard by her touch and the feelings that it brought up inside of him. but the moment was spoiled when their hands left each others and his thoughts turned to germs. damn it, he really needed to reach inside his pocket and grab the hand sanitizer but camden did not want to sanitize his hands right in front of her. oh yeah, that would be a total turn on. thanks for shaking my hand but girls have cooties so excuse me while i sanitize my hands because i am a pansy. what a fantastic moment. camden tried to sneakily slip his hand into his pocket and wipe it off in there. he really did not want to hurt jullia's feelings or freak her out but he might blow up if he did not somehow take care of the germs on his hand. when that was taken care of he felt much better to say the least.
camden felt like jullia was getting a little bit more comfortable with him when she asked him to make her something in the shop. if it had been anyone else he probably would have made an excuse to get home. but for jullia, he would have made her nine different drinks if she asked. and if someone else had asked he would have thought it a bit rude but cam liked the excuse to spend more time with her. oh, uh, y-yeah i think i c-can work that out. he said with a smile and amazingly looked at her straight in the eye for the first time. then he added a little softer, it's alright, i can make it f-for you. he was a little scared and needed a moment to catch his breath before he unlocked the door. the last thing cam wanted to do was to get all clumsy and nervous when he got in there. and he really wanted to relax and not be so nervous. so cam stood a little straighter before tapping the door handle three times and then unlocking the door and holding it for her to walk in first. he may have been totally unsocialized but he had his manners.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #4 on Aug 4, 2008, 1:47pm »
"I thought I saw your eyes, laced in smoke and cigarette curls." clothes. --------------------------------------------------
the starbucks crew and fiera's crew were usually no strangers to say so in the least. everyone knew each other quite well since there was some friendly competition. it was a bit odd to her that she hadn't recognized camden before. she knew most of the staff quite well. they occasionally had a few parties together, but like mentioned before, jullia was not the wild-typed kind. gatherings were fine too, but never before had she ever seen this particular blond. maybe in passing; that could be it. she was quite oblivious when it came to running errands to and from the two cafes. it was weird to see two different cafes work like one, really. one cafe got more customers, but the other got more chill people. an equilibrium at most. it really confused at her. even though she was completely comfortable with the starbucks staff, camden seemed to stand out from most. no, no. maybe it was just her. anyways, comfort was usually something she felt for everyone who worked at a genuine cafe working place. it was like she could connect with them without even trying to stir up a conversation. she wasn't exactly the world's master conversationalist, after all. but maybe she would have to be with the gorgeous guy in front of her. in truth, she was having a hard time to keep from stuttering like she had done when she started. the door almost swinging to her face had probably gotten to her; it was impossible to think that a guy made her stutter. a guy that wasn't carson. sure, her and carrs were best friends, but he still had this certain thing over her head. blackmail? it was doubtful, she hadn't done anything that was worth blackmailing for, anyways. oh, and a guy that wasn't like her dad. her dad definitely made her stutter like an idiot. no matter how many times she tried to keep a strong front, a strong voice. it would only be crushed within a matter of seconds. precious seconds wasted. she could've used those minutes for manslaughter or some police shit like that. she wasn't an officer, how was she supposed to know those damn codes?
jullia must've looked a bit strange when her eyes followed his hand down to the pocket of his pants. christ, she must've looked like some pervert or something. but what the hell was he doing? no, it wasn't any of her business to know. plus, it was doubtful that he would be doing that sort of thing in front of her. if he did, then they weren't exactly going to be compatible. she got enough of that with the two only guys who really knew her in her life. she should be used to it then, right? well, maybe. but she wasn't going to get a little thing like that blind her from this completely chill person. plus, when she heard a small pop, she completely understood. it made a small giggle escape her mouth. immediately embarrassed, jullia clamped her mouth shut by thinning it to a small line. seriously, she really did not want to scare this guy away. she could've been taking things the wrong way. in a split second, she had almost forgotten the possibility of him having a girlfriend. maybe he was going to stir her up something tasty for customer satisfaction instead of actual affection. it would be a disappointment, really, it would. but when it came to people who were already in love with someone else, you just had to let them go and admit defeat. someone had gotten to him first; beaten her to the finish line before she could even start. maybe that's how she felt with carson. every guy he was with was like, a million defeats in one. she just had to accept the fact that it was forbidden for them to be together. and the difference was most definitely not the usual high-low class deal.
at the sound of his next few words, her heart almost leapt. sure, making someone a drink wasn't a big deal. but she was a sucker for most things. every little thing that made her happy, really made her happy. it was insanely weird to her, but she honestly couldn't help her emotions. if she had asked some old hag, they probably would've walked away without even saying anything. and they called kids rude these days. jullia could feel a small smile tug at her lips. jesus, he was too god damn adorable for her. what did she do to deserve to meet someone like him? " thanks." she cocked her head to the side a little, almost like trying to conjure up a thoughtful expression. her eyes watched him for a second as he held open the door. it had been one hell of a long while since she had been alone with a guy. but she had to remember, he may be taken. jullia hated keeping questions within her, let alone judgmental things. she was a straight-shooter and she never missed an opportunity to let out her feelings or say what she was thinking. "you're cute, camden. do you have a girlfriend?" it was a bit early in the game to ask such things; she wasn't even sure whether or not she was truly interested in him yet. but the answer was probably obvious, she just had to get to know him better. it wasn't a flirt, it was a real question because if he did, she would definitely back off. giving him another smile, she walked through the open door and into the familiar cafe.
she had always loved the smell of cafes. the way you would just walk in and a coffee-scented breeze would wash over you like sleek velvet. it was almost mesmerizing, and she definitely felt that way between fiera and starbucks. some could say she even had strong opinions about caffeine, which of course, she did. her thin figure walked the length of the small building, her footsteps almost ghost-like against the marbled floor. oh, right. her order, she hadn't told him her order yet. jullia turned her body around, turning to face the gorgeous blond once more. "a vanilla bean latte or a strawberry and creme frap. whichever you think tastes better." she chuckled softly before continuing her path towards the cash register. her eyes scanned the tiny print on the large menus, but almost immediately dropping them as she placed her elbows on top of the counter. she should probably count herself lucky right now. if she had came a little bit later, there would be no hope left for her when she returned home. she wasn't sure another night with her dad would suffice anything. she'd probably be dead the next time or just severely hurt. she wasn't too sure if her body would be able to keep up the constant, hurtful things he did to her. and with a deep sigh and a blank look to her face, she could feel the grief overwhelm her once more.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #5 on Aug 4, 2008, 4:53pm »
i don't know about you but i came to dance. cloth on my body. -------------------------------------------
camden was easily embarrassed. it was something he just could not help. he was embarrassed by just about anyone and anything. he was embarrassed when he made drinks wrong at work, when he hadn't straightened his hair, when someone asked him his natural hair color, his weight, his shoe size or his height, when he told someone his life story, and plenty of other times. but camden had never before been embarrassed by his germaphobia or obsessive compulsiveness. sure, he had gotten plenty of weird looks when he was excessively cleaning and tapping things but he had gotten used to them and did not mind them anymore. his germaphobia and ocd was who he was; if he was not ocd or germaphobic, he may not be camden. most of the time, camden was good about shrugging off comments or looks and say things like "they are just going to have to get over it." but at this moment, when he was interested in impressing rather than scaring away this girl, it was a little embarrassing to pull out the hand sanitizer when you just shook her hand. so he hoped that she did not find it weird that he put his hand in his pocket afterwards or hear the little pop when he opened the bottle. he was not looking at her face; he was too afraid of saying something dumb because he was still shocked that this beautiful girl was talking to him.
jullia walked in and camden followed almost like a lost puppy dog, but he was thinking about everything he did, trying hard to not make a clumsy mistake. he almost did not catch what jullia said; it was delayed by a couple seconds and when he finally got the whole thing he did a little cough and cleared his throat. he had been completely caught off guard by the remark and question. no girl had been so straight forward with him before. and while he kind of liked it because he did not have to wonder what she was thinking, he was just a little shocked. i-uh-i-uhm. well thank you. i, uh no. i am s-single. camden silently wondered if this meant that she was interested in him. was she asking because she really wanted to know or because she was just making small talk. he had never started a conversation with someone that way before. oh, what was he thinking. cam should return the question because he was curious as well. but, uh, yourself? he doubted she would ask if she was taken, unless she was just making small talk. plus the part about him being cute, his favorite part, would most likely not have been said with unless she was really interested. cam really hoped she had asked because she really wanted to know and that her answer was the same.
it was weird only having one customer and himself in the cafe especially since that customer was jullia. but not weird in a bad way, just weird because he was very aware of her and how she was standing and everything about her. there were usually around three or four people working behind the counter and plenty of customers. jullia had walked right up to the counter. before he had left the store, camden had put all the chairs on top of the tables so he could sweep. so he grabbed one off a table and put it next to her without saying anything. maybe camden was thinking to hard about what he was doing so he did not mess anything up or maybe he was still thinking about the girlfriend question but camden just kept quiet.
camden loved his job at starbucks. he loved coffee and he loved to make the drinks and he got great benefits and free coffee sometimes. and so when jullia asked him which drink he thought tasted better it was easy to pick the vanilla bean latte because it had caffeine in it. he loved his caffeine. i will have to go with the vanilla bean latte. smiling at her and trying to be a bit more fun and talkative. cam started on the drink, once again being careful so that he did not ruin the drink. so you work at fiera's? do you like it down there? yes, he was making small talk. he wanted to know more about her and hopefully not seem so shy and quiet and so he just did his best to start a conversation. he was really happy he got to make the drink for jullia, cam liked to make drinks for people in general but he was even more happy about this one because he felt he could sort of show of his drink making abilities. but he would have to really do his best. he was sure she had tasted hundreds of vanilla bean lattes in her time. she knew how they were supposed to taste and she knew how they were made.
camden tried not to say anything while he was making the drink for her. he wanted to concentrate and make it perfectly. but camden was not the type of person where his mind could stay on one topic at a time. soon his mind started to drift to different things. he was wondering exactly what she was doing walking alone at this time of night. if cam was a girl, he would not be walking alone late at night. okay, cam did not even have to be a girl to make the decision to not do that. but it kind of worried him that jullia had been walking alone up until now. camden was a sort of protective person and felt the need to make sure something bad had not happened to her. he finished off the drink and worked up his courage to ask her what she had been doing. here is your drink, he said with a genuine smile. he concentrated on not stuttering this time. i was wondering, why are you walking the street so late at night anyway? cam did not want to seem nosy, but he truly wanted to make sure everything was alright on her end. yes, camden was really feeling some affection and worry here. in his mind, they were already on their first date.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #6 on Aug 6, 2008, 1:38am »
"I thought I saw your eyes, laced in smoke and cigarette curls." clothes. --------------------------------------------------
jullia wasn't exactly the sitting-down type. sure, she could sit in a chair for an hour without moving a muscle. impossible, yes. but this was a westenra you were dealing with. a high class westenra for that matter. manners and etiquette were essential during her younger years of practice. you wouldn't believe the tutor she had. strict, high-class as her, impossible to manage. which was probably the reason why she could just sit there as motionless as a rag doll. though, some have twisted their versions of her stillness. it was an odd thought to think up; even now it amused her like it was being told to her the first time. these were the kind of people that were a bit overly religious. you know, the insane ones who carried a neck full of garlic around them to keep vampires away. that's what they thought of her. the religious, superstitious ones did. vampire? now that was going a little too far for her. sure, her skin was one of the most perfect ivory, the feel of satin and touch fullness of velvet. but that was because she took care of herself. despite the many road rages her father had with his temper and sexuality problems. just because her features were completely flawless, not one strand of her hair out of place. she took care of herself quite well, and it was odd to hear such a rumor being spread. not that she didn't believe in mythical creatures like that. she believed alright, but she never imagined something like that to be her. a monster. maybe she was one, who knows? anyways, she did have a couple of flaws. sometimes she could be somewhere at the wrong place at the wrong time, and assume a certain scene. that was something big on her part. she assumed things quite easily and went about on her merry day with those thoughts. she tuned people out before an explanation could ever come in contact with her ears. stubborn, really.
though she did like the fact at how gentleman camden was being. he was truly nice; down to the skin nice. it appealed to her so much that she just wanted to stay with him for the rest of the night. was it possible? it was obvious that he would eventually get sleepy, heavy lids drooping during a conversation of theirs. she didn't want to bore him to sleep with her ramble. her life was out of the question. no one needed to know about her father except carson. he had tried to help a couple of times. call the police, file a report. nothing worked because mister westenra could just pay it off like it was paying for a pack of gum. maybe even less. like putting fifty cents into a gumball machine easy. sometimes jullia just wished she wasn't so wealthy. the only reason she was sticking around her father was because he was taunting her with food and shelter. and most of all, money. it's what she needed since fiera's didn't completely cover anything. though it still screamed a good pay in general. so maybe she still needed daddy around, but paying someone to do manslaughter sounded kind of good too. if her father was killed, she'd gained all the westenra riches they had hidden in a vault in the bank. she wouldn't have that constant cloud of worry showering above her head anymore. all her problems would be solved, right? her thoughts were snapped off once she heard a few blenders going about. she had almost forgotten she was standing inside starbucks, a very cute, concentrated expression on camden's face made a tint of a smile appear on hers. if he was willing to make her order, then it should taste good, right? or maybe he was just doing it out of pure compassion.
she had heard him earlier, of course. the fact that he was single almost made her jump for joy. and to be honest, she didn't know why. jullia had been feeling a lot of odd things tonight. the sudden need to get to know camden, the thirst for him to talk to her. and now, hearing about his singleness? yikes, everything was just out of the ordinary today. maybe after he was done with her drink, and after she had taken a long sip of it, everything was just going to be peachy again. not that it ever was to begin with until she met him. questions poured from his mouth, and jullia wasn't exactly sure where to begin with. "oh, single too. it's not as bad as i thought it would be. though it gets pretty boring on valentine's day." she laughed a low, musical laugh. a sound similar to bell chimes. the statement was sort of true. she never went out on valentine's day when she was single. it sickened her to the stomach seeing couples being all lovey - dovey out of the street. christ, get a room.
but if she were them, it was obvious she'd be doing the same thing, different thoughts too. she bent over, reaching for the chair camden had pushed over to her. placing it directly in front of the counter, she climbed up on the chair so her knees rested on it while her hands clasped together on top of the counter. casual conversation. typical. how many times had she been through this? this was different, of course. camden wasn't a highly official -- whatever her dad had told her before. very, very rich people, basically. "yeah, i work at fiera's. it's fine there. meeting lots of new people, making drinks. sometimes i wish i worked here instead. i know more people here anyway, and i didn't know you worked here." she smiled thoughtfully, not realizing it sounded like a flirt. nothing that trailed out of her mouth sounded like a flirt. a mere statement, yes. her eyes flickered to the drink he continued to make. vanilla bean, eh? he was definitely a caffeine lover, a taste-bud destroyer person. he was most definitely considered as compatible.
the silence that consumed was almost unbearable. almost because the sounds of camden moving here and there with occasional clinks of a spoon, a click of a blender, it was all but keeping her from rambling. jullia puckered her lips, trying to pull of a patient face as she waited. she hated waited for things. it really irked her when she couldn't have things dead on the spot. but it looked like he was really trying, like he was putting his soul and heart into it as if she were some kind of critic in town. it might've been true. a dozen vanilla beans have flowed through her parted lips, different taste as always. nothing was ever perfect, not that she really cared, though. she started to hum softly, a tune unfamiliar even to her ears. if only they had a guitar lying around somewhere, she could compose music right here. the smell of high quality, enriching coffee in the air. the couches spread across the room. plus, she wanted to show off a little. she was a talented person, after all. but before she could get in depth with the thought, another question had befallen. it was a question she was hoping he'd avoid asking, but straight-shooters were straight-shooters. taking a big gulp of air, she tried to word everything in her mind. though she was aware it would come out completely different. the sound of the cup against the counter brought her head up to face him instinctively. she couldn't lie to him, no matter how much she wanted to. she'd been a bad liar, but maybe she could convince him. nah, she was never one to hurt cute people, anyway.
taking the drink in between her hands, jullia looked down at it, a soft, yet hard expression on her face. maybe she could stall, but then again, he was waiting. and she didn't like to keep people waiting. bringing the cup to her lips, she took a slow sip of it. a tingly sensation at the tip of her fingers from the fantastic use of materials to make the drink. everything about it was so balanced, so right. that's the way she felt about camden. "is it suddenly a crime?" she asked jokingly before straighting her back to have a much more refreshed composure. "good drink, by the way. it's excellent." sighing deeply, it was obvious he'd eventually pry it out of her anyway. "just keeping as far away from home as much as possible. my relationship with my dad isn't exactly a happily ever after. why do you ask?" taking one more sip, she smacked her lips in satisfaction before turning to meet his gaze. the gaze, the wonderful gaze that held her together. and with that las mystifying thought, she waited once more.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #7 on Aug 8, 2008, 3:42am »
i don't know about you but i came to dance. cloth on my body. -------------------------------------------
being with a girl and all alone was starting to make camden a little nervous. he was not used to such one on one attention with a girl in quite awhile. camden had never been much of a dater though girls had shown interest. plenty actually, camden just wasn't interested. maybe he was afraid things would get too serious or that they would want something from him that he could not give them. and not only that, camden did not like putting himself in situations where he could be compromised. not saying that he thought jullia would be a person to try something with him, but camden had just had too many people in his life take advantage of his childish trust that he used to just hand out. now, he had smartened up and it would take a bit more for camden to talk to someone about himself. plus, camden felt a lot of pressure to impress jullia and say and do the right thing. as the night wore on, cam was starting to have more and more feelings towards jullia. it was just the way she was. ugh, camden was so easily sold. sure, jullia seemed into him but maybe she was just acting like that to get the caffeine. when you were a caffeine addict, you sometimes got a little desperate to get your caffeine. cam knew how that went; when he was in need of caffeine, he would ignore his cellphone until he got it. camden was just ready to do some cleaning right now. that was a great stress reliever. just the feeling of getting something nice and clean and germ free made camden feel better. when cam had too many emotions floating around, he just started cleaning something out of habit. this moment was not different. after finishing up both of their drinks, camden would start cleaning away. things would need to be cleaned up anyway, but of course camden was going to thoroughly sanitize each item. and he would do it willingly. but for now he just stuck to making the drinks for them. trying to will the drink to taste as good as he hoped it would.
because camden was nervous, he was worrying about everything he was doing. was he doing things right? was she going to like the drink? was he conversing enough? had he asked too many questions? agh, he was so worried. he just needed to relax and enjoy his time. like he said earlier, this was a rare occasion so he just needed to enjoy it. why was he all of a sudden so worried what this girl thought? this was not like camden. he was who he was. not more or less. and cam was not the type to try to change for someone. but right now cam was all worried about how he was acting and how jullia saw him and what she was thinking about him. he had so many questions to ask her too. he was not going to ask them, he just silently wondered them. he had already asked some questions and anticipated those answers enough. it seemed as though every short amount of time was forever. waiting for the next move and her answers was awful. it was like playing a shitty game of checkers and whoever lost died. the anticipation is killer and each move is critical. and as the answer finally comes, you feel so much better. her answer was expected; he could just sense that she was single. but it was still nice to hear it and be sure that he was not just hoping it was the answer. camden had to nod and chuckle a bit when she said her bit about valentines day. so true. it was sometimes a very awful day when you were single. jullia's laugh startled camden. it was so...pretty. not a crazy or high pitched laugh. but a very pretty and fitting laugh for a lady. cam really liked it. cam had to look up at her and smile because it was so damn infectious.
his question about her working at fiera's of course made him a bit nervous. cam had pretty much started a conversation. camden did not do that with girls usually. especially one he thought was cute. but for a moment he overcame his nervousness and actually said something that was not an answer. talking made him nervous too. because of his damn stutter. which was something that had just developed over the years of being a loner. it annoyed him because it made him sound so illiterate. which camden was not. camden was smart enough to hold a truly mature and smart conversation, he just did not always choose too. camden tried his best to pause his drink making and look up at jullia. it was not too bad. after a bit, it got a little nerve wracking and he would go back to making the drinks but he still listened to every word she said. camden was pretty sure he knew why jullia had not known he had worked here, he never went to their little parties they had at work. he could not do parties very well. and its not like he had tons of friends at work anyway. so cam would just rather stay home and clean or listen to his music. or do both. it may sound sad, but it was actually very nice for cam. of course camden was not totally excited to share that with jullia. he would sound like so much fun then wouldn't he? oh, he was just a wild party. as camden finished up the drink he set it in her hands, daring to look at her beautiful eyes again, and awaited her answer to his question about walking the streets. it seemed to be a lot harder for her to answer than he had anticipated. he hoped he had not made her mad or hoped she did not think cam was being too nosy. but as soon as she used her joking voice, he knew she would answer maybe just not a detailed answer. at the bit about his drink he perked up a bit, happy to know she approved of it. the approval of a fellow caffeine addict. it was good. thaa-anks. he smiled as warmly as possible at her. camden gazed at her waiting for the real answer. but even with her answer he was not satisfied. cam could tell there was more behind it then that. there always was. camden had been down that road before, he had given similar answers when he was younger. just little answers about his parents not being happy with him at the moment or something of the sort. of course it was sort of like lying, but camden was not going to outright tell a person his life story like that. "oh my dad enjoys sexing me up every night. or when he is not doing that, my mom likes to sell me to her friends." that would really stun people.
cam really hoped that poor jullia's story behind the answer was not as bad as that. maybe her dad beat her. or maybe it wasn't even something as bad as that. maybe he was just a bitch. camden would not mind knowing exactly what was going on with jullia and her dad but he definitly was not going to ask anymore of her. cam hated when people were nosy into his life and he was not going to do the same thing. if he waited and cam and jullia got to know each other better then maybe jullia would open up eventually. just like cam would. camden nodded and raised his eyebrows. yeah, i know how that is. he sort of mumbled it but at least he hadn't stuttered. i-ii was just, you know, making sure some guy hadn't, i don't know, stood you u-up or something like tha-at. it was true. camden was the person to think the worst had happened to people. he was sort of over dramatic sometimes. camden took a long sip of his vanilla bean latte and was very happy with the taste. it was one of his best for sure. and it made him even happier, almost giddy in fact, that he got to share this great drink with someone as great as jullia. damn camden for so easily falling head over heals when he had just met a girl. damn it. damn it.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #8 on Aug 8, 2008, 7:49pm »
"I thought I saw your eyes, laced in smoke and cigarette curls." clothes. --------------------------------------------------
sometimes jullia wished it was easier to tell people about her history, her background, her past. anything that would get past the lying. was it lying? technically it wasn't, but to not tell the full, head-on story to camden made her feel guilty. just a small twinge. she didn't know why, she had never felt that way when people asked her that same question before. it was easier to tell them, to keep up the charade she had long upheld since the tragedy of the plane crash. losing two of her siblings, her mother. maybe her father thought it wasn't enough, maybe he just wanted her to suffer some more until she died. it could be twisted, though, of course. he could be the one silently hurting inside. but did it really have to reason up with sexual activity? before the plane accident, before the fear and hatred of her father, jullia was not the sexually active type. sure, a few guys came onto her like that, but she always stayed away from it. it was like dealing with a pile of visible germs. unhealthy, rancid, repulsive. but those guys weren't sober at all, or maybe they were. she would never know the answer to that anymore. but as time grew on, it was getting harder and harder to stay away from the gutter. in truth, she wasn't a dirty girl, but occasional thoughts spruced inside her mind when she was alone or scoping out guys. she'd never approach them. she was too scared, too frightened, too vulnerable. it was probably easy to get into her pants because she knew she'd never fight back even if she tried. it wasn't easy for her to accept a thing like sex, but if it was with the right person at the right time at the right place, it'd be different. a one-night-stand with a complete stranger being compared to a one-night-stand with someone you think was the right person to you. which path was the safest to choose? she'd figure that one out when she was good and ready. and for some odd reason, the most strangest reason of all, it was like she could share that once in a lifetime moment with camden. impossible, right? they just met and it was obvious to the both of them that they wouldn't be doing something they shouldn't be doing just yet. unless ..
there she went again. that feminine mind of hers playing inside the depths of the gutter once again. it was probably the worst time to be thinking about such things. but it made sense, really it did. her and camden in bed, kissing, exchanging sweet words, kissing. christ, maybe she was just taking this a little bit too far. maybe after tonight all they would be was friends, acquaintances at most. it wasn't like her petty, little mind could change a person completely. hell, she couldn't even change herself if she wanted to. better yet, after tonight they probably wouldn't even see each other anymore. the two would just somehow disappear; blending in with society. now that was possible. but jullia wasn't going to let camden get away with that quickly. no, no. she was going to keep him around because it felt right. like, she could already trust him with the most darkest of her secrets. hey, maybe she could. he was a pretty decent guy, single, gorgeous. it still struck her hard in the stomach and mentally in the mind that he didn't have a girlfriend. were they blind or something? here was probably the most perfect guy in the world. despite his insane sanitation and his stuttering, he was the best. it was too early to think that, to think that he wouldn't just turn around and stab her in the back. but when assumptions and judgments hit jullia, she became quite vulnerable to the real deal. which, of course, made her feel a lot worse afterwards. all that thinking for nothing. honestly. but it was well worth the experience for her. it taught her to be better prepared for the future; just in case someone like him would trot down her path and do the same thing. she'd be ready, she'd defend herself. but in the end, she would always lose. she never got what she wanted. not a single thing in this world. maybe she was prone to not getting what she wanted. she loved carson, but would she ever be able to get him? no, he was all over guys and what was she supposed to do about that? dress up like a scene guy and casually bump into him? what a delightful way to manipulate friends.
the sound of camden's voice pulled jullia back into reality. how long had she spaced out? the question suddenly didn't matter when a tiny smile curled onto her lips. she found it quite adorable when camden tried to keep himself from stuttering. hell, she found him adorable in more ways she ever thought possible. the way his striking blond hair was set in the most perfect places on his head; almost giving it that windy look when the wind blew back against your head. the way his smile was so warm, so welcoming. it screamed out home, but she didn't allow herself to think any farther of that thought. camden wasn't her home and he never would be. he was just a person she was meeting for the first time in life, nothing special yet. Yet. you definitely had to add the yet to that thought because she had a feeling there was going to be something more. but that could just be her over-analyzing a situation again. this wouldn't be the first time, of course. she paused as she listened to his mumbling. he knew how it was? why did that sound totally and utterly convincing? she nodded silently, biting her lower lip before releasing it and pulling the drink up to her lips again. she tapped her foot rhythmatically, never losing a beat and keeping count of how many. if she stopped at an odd number, she would count all over again. she had all night, though, unless camden decided to close up after they were done. then the real nightmare would start.
jullia bit the inside of her cheek. she wanted to tell camden about her and her father, but the story would probably just lull him to sleep. no, it wouldn't something as rude, as horrible as this would never put anyone to sleep. they'd complain, yes. and she would brace herself for protests against camden. maybe he'd do what carson had did before; try to file a report. no, he had convinced her all too much that he actually knew how it was. the words echoed silently in her head, her eyes flickering up to meet his gaze as he spoke again. christ, when did he ever stop being cute? she just wanted to reach over the table to kiss him on the lips, to whisper how much his words had meant to her. yet she kept her tapping foot on the floor, her right knee still settled onto the chair next to her. smiling softly, she nodded again. "i'm still surprised you don't have a girlfriend." she said quietly, her left index tracing invisible patterns onto the counter. she could feel her cheeks getting warm again, jullia wasn't exactly used to this kind of attention. and in her mind, he was just completely spoiling her right now. no, she couldn't do it. despite all the screaming going on inside her head, she forced herself to stay put in her spot. but maybe she wasn't forcing herself hard enough because the only thing she could feel was herself leaning forward. her lips met his in almost an instant, her tapping foot ceasing at ninety-eight.
two seconds later, jullia leaned away quickly, her cheeks at a full flush of a very light-colored apple. what the hell was she thinking? leaning to him so easily, so not fearful of what would happen when they were done. the kiss was short, sweet, and to the point. it gave off how much she really did appreciate the comment, the way he worried about her even if she was any other person on the street. "s-sorry. i didn't - i didn't mean to --" she cut herself off quickly, her right leg that was nestled on the chair now stood firmly next to her left leg. jullia bowed her head down, a curtain of bangs covering her eyes as her gripped tightened on her warm cup. the only thing she could mutter was, 'rude, rude of me. very rude.' she was taught manners, high-quality manners for years and it took one person she just met a second to make her do that. it was both fascinating and strange. a mix of uncertain emotions she was used to before. and not in a second or nanosecond of her life did she ever regret doing that. with an uneasy expression, she raised her head up a fraction. "you really know how it is?" she asked in a tiny voice, referring to his earlier comment. she didn't really want to know the answer now because all she could do was stare at those soft lips of his. her eyes flickered down to her hands again, her left foot tapping once again, counting slowly to herself with the same tiny voice except inside her head. her heart fluttered, though this was definitely going to be kept a secret for her and herself only. the only person she ever loved was carson williams, could this guy, this guy she just met minutes ago change all of that in a few minutes time? christ, he was more multi-talented then she thought.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #9 on Aug 8, 2008, 9:28pm »
i don't know about you but i came to dance. cloth on my body. -------------------------------------------
camden hated sticky emotions and feelings. he hated when moments got all filled up with crazy emotions. it got hard to hold them in and to think clearly. and you just did not know what to do. camden got all stressed out about stuff like this and just wanted to break free of the crazy emotions. he just wanted to divert his thoughts to something else to get a break from the stress of this. he was getting suffocated by his own emotions. cam wasn't even sure if he knew all the emotions he had inside of him right now much less if he could explain them. it seemed he had a little bit of everything. anger, fear, tiredness, excitement, shyness, happiness, and even sadness. his anger was at himself for falling all over jullia like he was and just being so willing. if she asked him to kill someone for her he probably would. the fear was sort of a given. camden was afraid of just about everything. and dating was probably somewhere near the top of his list of fears. being tired was a given as well. it was late and all the emotions were really starting to make him tired. way to make it even harder for him to make decisions. the excitement was from being alone with a girl for the first time in ever really. camden's imagination was getting the best of him as usual and he was starting to think of all the possible outcomes of this night. he was not used to this type of thing so what was he supposed to do after this? like he had any idea. he was too shy to be able to build up his confidence and make a move or anything of the sort. but at least he could think about the things he could do. christ, that really made him sound like a pansy.
camden watched jullia take a sip from the cup. it was a lot more interesting to watch than it probably should have been. her skin looked so soft, camden just wanted to reach out and take her hand. just to be able to touch her and feel the warmth of her skin. it would be amazing. now if he only had the balls to do it. but cam was still having questions about if jullia was really into him. sure, she had said he was cute and everything that had happened had felt like a great setup in some love novel, but that did not mean too much. he needed to be sure she had some feelings. he found it hard to believe that jullia was not caught up in any other guy. she was just really damn pretty. camden could not get over the fact that this was happening. it felt like it had all happened so quickly. one moment he was trying to compose himself to walk home in the dark and the next moment he was making this amazing girl a drink. it so fantastic but also very scary. it was like being a little kid in a huge toy store. so exciting but your so small and the store is so big. it felt so much like that. jullia was so breath taking. and camden felt so small and less breath taking. cam liked how she was sort of sceneish but at the same time she was so proper and lady like. in the smallest ways, that maybe only camden noticed, jullia and cam were a lot alike. even on things he could not quite put his finger on. he just felt it. it was almost unexplainable. but he knew it was true because he felt it.
camden was enjoying his drink and just being able to nonchalantly take looks at jullia. it was almost starting to make him comfortable. but the silence was a little annoying to cam. he hated the feeling of it. camden felt like they had a million things they could talk about they just weren't. maybe it was good because they were taking it slowly but all of the subjects they could fill this void with were getting ready to burst out of camden when jullia soflty said something. at first, camden was a little to wrapped up in his personal feelings to catch what she said. but he got it. and for what seemed like the hundredth time tonight, cam was surprised. he really enjoyed jullia's straight forwardness. sort of made things easier on him and he liked a girl who could speak her mind. but it was still quite startling and a little scary to him. it was slightly nice to watch jullia get a little flushed at her comment. finally it wasn't camden getting all embarrassed; plus it was completely adorable. her finger tracing the counter, her cheeks a little rosy. oh boy. he had to look away. and for some reason he felt the need to say something. thats a great idea. except not. huh, i-ii uhh, yeahh, i-. but before camden could really think of real words to come out of his mouth, the space between the two was enclosed and his mouth was a little bit more preoccupied with the lips of jullia. once again, surprise! it was a waterfall of emotions. all at once for a split second. he was amazed. her lips were as soft as they looked, maybe even softer and they were just...just magnificent. now he was really having trouble thinking straight. but then just as quick as it had happened, it was over. camden was sure that jullia was not the only one with pink cheeks. and it did not help that jullia and her cute little self bowed her head down like she was hiding behind those black bangs of hers. it was really adorable the way she seemed to be chastising herself for just all of a sudden kissing him. after being completely startled and embarrassed at first, cam had really enjoyed it. camden really felt the need to say something to change the subject a bit. and before he had even barely conjured the words he said them. well, i-ii suppose its a g-good thing im n-not gay. that was totally unlike him. he always carefully thought about words before he said them. and what was that supposed to mean? was he trying to be funny? he wasn't even sure. camden tussled his hair and squinted one of his eyes closed. why was he so damn awkward.
the world would never know. but he definitly was. and for some reason jullia did not seem to mind it. everything jullia had said tonight so far had seemed to surprise him. maybe it was because her voice was so small sounding and precious almost. or maybe it was actually the things she had said. but in some way it had all suprised him at least a bit. when cam had mumbled the part about knowing how it was he had sort of hoped that jullia would hear it but at the same time he didn't. he did not want her to think he was a know it all. but it had been the truth and it was something that he could truly say with meaning. he knew how much he had hated coming home all through out his life. he never had had anyone to run to and talk about it. it was always a personal problem he dealt with emotionally and physically every night. and no matter what he did cam could never seem to really be able to handle it. camden had had plenty of minor breakdowns at school and in his bed before the seriously large breakdown he had had. but camden did not think about that. almost ever. that was why he always busied hisself with something to do. so he could get his mind off of his past. camden nodded, the room a bit more solemn now after their awkward moment that had happened only a few minutes earlier. uhm, yeah i do. camden did not know if he should elaborate more on the subject or not. he did not really want to but he felt he should just not leave her with that gimpy answer. yeahh, my dad was a pretty big...uh jerk to put it nicely. i understand not wanting to go home. he hadn't stuttered again. cam didn't stutter when he said things before he got to thinking about saying it. so he just had to keep doing that.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #10 on Aug 11, 2008, 12:20am »
"I thought I saw your eyes, laced in smoke and cigarette curls." clothes. --------------------------------------------------
it wasn't like jullia to do something so innocently rash on her first date. whoa, wait. first date? well, she wasn't exactly sure on what to call this sort of conversation. she couldn't just slap a label on it saying they were just two friends chilling. they weren't friends yet, just acquatainances. possible even more. was that what she wanted in the first place? again, she wasn't all too sure about that either. or anything for that matter. nothing was making sense anymore. what had happened to all her morals, all her vows saying she would only love carson and only carson? sure, it would be physically impossible to get near him without him sticking out his tongue at her, pretending to act disgusted. that much she could live with. as long as he was happy with his life, she was happy. but that was the problem, he was never truly happy. yeah, he'd fake a smile and a laugh to keep her happy. but she wanted to do the same for him. of course, she knew about his past. he had told her about it one night, details and all hidden within in. the car accident, his brothers. it was like her story. except with a completely different twist to it. but to be honest, could someone as cute and adorable as camden change her intake on carson so quickly? well, obviously, considering she had just placed a soft kiss on him. a kiss beyond words; even if it lasted exactly two seconds. but she didn't want to be so hasty with her idea. what it could mean to her could mean a whole different thing to someone else. and that someone else just so happened to be camden here. she wasn't even sure if he was the slightest bit into her. maybe he was, though. the way his eyes softly flickered over to her when she spoke, the way he stuttered every now and then from things she said. then again, it could just be some sort of strange habit he had. what the hell did she know about him? nothing, of course. only that he was single and that they somehow share the same past. and in a few minutes time, he seemed to convince her quite well.
so maybe she was just acting a bit over the top. the kiss was just a kiss. she shouldn't be hiding her face from him like a shy puppy. she should be confidant in her decision to kiss him so suddenly .. right? well, it wasn't even her decision in the first place. it just sort of happened. like, one of those into-the-moment things parents never understood when you came home with a hickey on your neck. hey, at least her dad wasn't finding any random condoms sprawled about her room. not that she had any, of course. but she really had to beg to differ when it came to his room. it was filled with things you wouldn't ever imagine. sex toys, flavored condoms, the whole fucking lot. it made jullia sick to her stomach just thinking about it. about all the woman he brought in to replace her mother. sometimes she doubted him when she was lone to think for once inside that manor of hers. did the bastard even love her mom? from his current situation, it seemed unlikely. hell, what did she know? she didn't know anything about their past. well, she did, but not as good as you think. it was kind of like those unsolved mysteries people are so into nowadays. none of it made any sense. just like her father wanting jullia in his room at every chance she was home and about to leave. he had done so many things to her, it was probably a possibility that her tubes were tied now, seriously. it's a miracle she wasn't even pregnant, but that probably falls into the reason of her father actually being careful. careful, right. no one was ever careful with jullia westenra. no one. it was like being an expensive, foreign-country-imported vase in the hands of a three-year-old. it didn't matter how fragile she was, she was used to being broken one too many times.
jullia felt kind of silly standing there with camden looking at her. it was like reversing their earlier positions, and she felt a little guilty not giving him any credit. it just didn't seem fair. and christ, it just hit her hard in the head at how patient he was with her. no one had time for her anymore, so she was just used to people running off before she could get word about her day. but camden, oh camden, he was still here in the flesh. breathing, blinking, staring. slowly, jullia tapped her foot silently, counting to see how long it took for him to come back to earth. had she startled him so bad that he'd kick her out and shove her drink in his face? it didn't seem like something he'd do. he was much too sweet, and she was definitely not going to take that for granted. another one of her musical giggles escaped her lips, her hands brushing away her curtain of bangs as she raised her head up a bit. he was trying to make her feel comfortable again. this thought almost made her heart skip a bit. no one in the world had ever been this nice to her, except for carson, of course. but not camden-nice. "yes, i s-suppose it is a good thing. otherwise, i think i would've just walked out -- out of embarrassment." she let another trail of chuckles fill the space between them. she almost jerked herself away when his hands went to play with his blond hair. what she wouldn't give to do the same, really. slowly, she quieted herself down before letting out a heavy sigh. friends, she kept reminding herself. they were only friends. nothing more, nothing less.
but jullia, she was a stubborn person. and if she was a stubborn person, she was a stubborn thinker too. she just wouldn't allow herself to think of them as friends. friends didn't kiss each other on the lips if it felt like something else. no, they weren't friends. but they weren't acquaintances either. so, what the hell were they exactly? his voice broke her from her thoughts, allowing her eyes to focus back on the handsome figure behind the counter. why did he have to be so damn cute and so damn fragile? it was like her. christ, they had so many things in common it was impossible to not think of them beyond cousins or something. her hands wrapped themselves around her latte again, the warmth radiating from the small cup comforted her to a certain extent as she listened carefully. jerk, she almost laughed again when he had used that certain adjective to describe his father. there were a lot of things he could've called him, and there was definitely a lot of things jullia could've called hers. but jerk. it seemed to sum it up a little. on nice terms, of course. and right now, she was feeling a little bit affectionate. she nodded silently, a smile tugging at her lips. "yeah, it isn't exactly my happy place. but maybe, i think i found it." her eyes looked up at his, locking them for a minute. did she really mean that? oh god, she wasn't sure. it felt so right to say, yet so wrong in many ways. but this was her decision, no one else's and certainly not her father's choice. and with that last thought, jullia found her hand pulling at his red shirt towards her, her other hand finding its rightful place at the back of his neck, fingers mussing with the silvery, blond locks of his. as her face inched closer with his, her lips made sure she whispered one last thing to him. "i think i might be pushing my luck today." slowly, she let the warmth of someone else engulf her completely.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #11 on Aug 16, 2008, 5:15pm »
i don't know about you but i came to dance. cloth on my body. -------------------------------------------
if only, if only at this very moment, they could just say exactly what they were thinking and how they were feeling. god, that would make things so much easier now wouldn't it? sure camden had never dated around much but he still knew about relationships. he knew how people did things for rash reasons and did not think about them first. it was understandable but people still got hurt. cam just wanted to be sure that jullia and him were on the same page. the questions flooded his mind again. not just for jullia but he had questions for himself as well. did she really like him? or was this all a sick joke? did she do this with every guy she met? was he a rebound after some other guy? was he really this easy? cam really wanted to just hit the pause button and get his head around a few things. wouldn't life be so much easier if there was a remote? and you always knew what the other person was thinking and feeling? camden had had plenty of people trick him into thinking things and later stab him in the back whether it was on purpose or accidental. and while the silly little boy inside camden truly wanted to believe that jullia was a nice person and would not think of using or hurting him, camden had to look at reality. and reality was that nice people [or at least people that seemed nice] did shitty things to good people all the time. jullia could be using him as a rebound after some other guy had broken her heart. or to make some other guy jealous. or maybe she was some sex crazed girl that was just taking advantage of him. damn it. why was he blaming jullia for things that had happened in his past. maybe he was thinking to much. maybe jullia was a really great girl that really liked camden for who he was. well, so far anyways. camden had some serious trust issues.
when it came to relationships, cam was always the old fashioned type or the disney type. he had always dreamed of running away with some amazing girl that was his princess. and he liked to take relationships slowly and not rush it. maybe it wasn't because he was old fashioned but because at the beginning of the relationship things were so sweet and nice but as the relationship wore on people felt like they needed to have sex. and camden really would rather avoid that subject. camden just enjoyed getting to know people. and right now, cam just wanted to get to know the girl behind the pretty face. even though he was very tempted by their quick yet wonderful kiss, camden was not the type to date a girl just because she was pretty and they had kissed. he needed more. but he could not deny they had some things in common. they worked at a common place, they obviously were both caffeine addicts and had similar pasts but all that did not mean they had some spectacular connection. camden would like to believe he had felt something when they kissed but maybe it was just him being desperate. jullia may not have even felt anything. as camden came back to his surroundings, he almost giggled as he noticed they both had seemingly been spaced out thinking about something. camden secretly hoped that jullia had been thinking about him. cam also noticed that while he had been spaced out, he had started his old habit of shirt rubbing again. when camden was nervous, he would grab the edge of his shirt and use his thumb and index finger to rub it. he figured it had something to do with his ocd. he was very glad that the bottom of his shirt was hidden underneath the counter.
camden was glad to hear her musical laugh after his dumb comment. his face reddened a bit but he was glad she hadn't given him some weird look. cam really appreciated jullia. technically, she could have gotten the latte and left but she stayed right where she was and was enduring these awkward silences. camden was happy that she had stayed and it wasn't just because he did not want to walk home in the dark anymore. now he was thinking maybe something could happen. between now and the time they left he had to think of something to say. maybe ask her to see a movie with him or something. ooh, a date. agh, he couldn't do it. he did not have the balls. maybe he could work something up eventually. he hoped anyway. camden listened to her soft voice as she spoke about her home and her father. camden had an itching that he knew what she meant by it not being her happy place. but he could be wrong. the last bit of her words threw him off. he was unsure where she had found her happy place at. but as she locked eyes with him he got a little nervous. now she was leaning in and all of a sudden her hand was on his shirt and the other one was behind his neck. as if camden was not nervous enough. they were pretty much as close as they could get with the damn counter in the way. no camden was not just nervous, he was fucking terrified. he was having too many second thoughts and before they could go too far he ducked out and stepped away from the counter. oh god, what was he doing? what were they doing! holy hell. he was so screwed now. as he was once again completely confused tonight, he let his hand find its way back to his hair and tussled it multiple times. he couldn't just do this. he needed more....information. but christ she was so tempting. "sorry, i, uh, um." yeah, great. what was he going to say? oh sorry i just wanted to know if you are using me as a rebound. or maybe, "y-you like m-me?" oh yeahhh. fantastic. great way to put it. why couldn't camden be a bit more witty? fuck. that was all he could think of. "what i-i mean is, mayb-be we should ta-alk." and quickly added, "i-if you want." damn his stutter. damn him not knowing what to do. and damn the counter. when she had slightly pulled him over the counter it must have put a little too much pressure on his nuts because they hurt.
camden really wanted to go home and sleep. it really wasn't that he was totally tired but more of the fact that he wanted some time to think and maybe come back to this whole situation later when he had had a full nights rest. plus starbucks was so open and sort of cold. he would feel so much more comfortable if he was at home. a picture of all this happening at his house flashed in his mind. sure why not. not like jullia wanted to go home anyway. and he had a couch and a bed. no, what was he thinking? jullia would think camden wanted to have sex with her. which he sort of did but he just couldn't. cam could even see it. his first real time with jullia. but damn he just couldn't. especially not this soon. this was so much for camden to handle. earlier today things had been so much easier for camden but now camden had no idea what to do. he felt so constricted, he needed to get somethings off his chest. "i've just never really done th-this before. and i guess i don't really know ... how. i'm not very good with girls. and its so weird to do it here. maybe we could go somewhere with less windows. and more heat." he was trying to lighten things up a bit. cam felt like he had made it so damn awkward and weird for them. but then again, camden was a king at that now wasn't he? he hoped jullia didn't think he was trying to lead her home with him for sex. camden was seriously trying to be hospitable. and he was really tired of being at work. cam felt a lot more relieved after he got his little confession off his chest, but he was too afraid to look jullia in the eyes. what if he had hurt her feelings ducking away. he hadn't meant to do it so quickly. cam really did not want to come off like a dick. but things were just moving so quickly and it had really freaked him out. now all he could hope was that jullia understood at least a little bit about why camden was so damn awkward. and that he had not scared her away.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #12 on Aug 28, 2008, 11:41pm »
"I thought I saw your eyes, laced in smoke and cigarette curls." clothes. --------------------------------------------------
there was no mistake that miss jullia westenra had her fair share in guys. she didn't like to play the field; she was mostly just forced to. she was never fond of dating, considering the large amounts of heartbreak that always trailed alongside it. in her opinion, none of it was worth it. none of the endless amounts of crushes you got, the soft smiles, the meaningless whispers. it was all just a distraction. but hey, some distractions were good and people actually ended up marrying each other for the sake of it. others, of course, weren't too lucky. and seeing camden through her eyes, it was odd to not know what would become of her future. would they date, would they marry, would they become future enemies? it was like he was keeping secrets from her that he had no knowledge of. camden was different. he was more subtle than most guys she knew. well, most guys she knew were gay or taken. and just hearing the magical answer of 'no' was the most delightful ring to her ears. he wasn't taken. he didn't love anyone but himself and maybe his family or just his mom since of the whole dad situation earlier. but there were other possibilities too. maybe he was like one of those guys on tv who were sexually abused as a child and that very past triggered his pleasure for sex. maybe not. he definitely didn't look like the type to lure you in with simple whispers and batting of the lashes. he was shy, timid, easily breakable if fallen into the wrong hands. never in her life had jullia ever met someone so complex, so hard to figure out, and yet, all together simple in one description. it confused her. nothing made sense. but things didn't have to make sense when you were having a small, high school crush on them, right?
even high school love didn't last long. hell, high school crushes didn't last long for jullia either. she was the type to get bored with guys easily. one week, she would be hardcore crushing on a guy and the next, she's all over someone else because she just lost interest in the other. no guy she had ever encountered kept her attention for so long. and even though it was way into the night, she was more alert than ever with camden around. it was like she just had to get to know him. like, some giddy side of her just had to grab hold onto this kid and question him until he got sick of seeing her face, her ratty hair, her perfect features. just until he got sick of it all. he was mesmerizing in a way, and in others, he was just plain cute. he had the whole 'comfortable' look meshed in with a bit of scene and punk. a type jullia always went for. she just wasn't into guys who wore polo's and khaki shorts with short hair. she likes the ones that looked quick-witted, a fast thinker like her. one that could think clearly while they're doing something completely different. almost like multi-tasking in one form or another. these feelings weren't exactly old news, yet they weren't new ones either. they were just feelings she'd never exactly explore in depth to. the tickles of those butterflies, the pacing heartbeat. sure, she was experienced, but the way camden was making her feel now beat that ten times over the bridge. she just wanted to entangle her fingers into his wind-blown hair, drag the tips of her fingers down his lean body under that red shirt of his. she wanted to do so many things at once; that when she finally realized the quick wisp of movement, she immediately frowned.
never, ever, ever, ever in her life had a guy ducked out of her way from a kiss. especially one from her. she was a catch, wasn't she? she was a westenra for god's sake. a child born from the riches, but never soaked herself in it. now, why of all times did she feel angry at this new face? jullia had never anticipated camden to move the way he did; to avoid skin contact and some lip action. but maybe it was just her. she was tired, after all. the caffeine inside her body was slowly working its way in, but not fast enough to cool that hot head of hers. somehow, her arms were limp on the counter, her dark eyes like a hawk's as she watched camden closely. the way he tussled his hair childishly, the way he stuttered when he spoke. the corner of her lip twitched unnoticeably, silently counting in her head to calm herself down. she couldn't get mad at him. him of all people! the one who had made her feel so vulnerable, so special just a few seconds ago. jullia nodded silently. whether it was directed towards her affections for him or for talking, she wasn't all too sure about it. she moved slowly, planting herself next to the chair he had pulled up for her minutes ago. she was growing impatient, though it was bluntly obvious from the small pout her lips made and the way her fingers tapped against the counter table. "talking, right." she muttered under her breath. damn him. it was hard not to sound so rude - not that it did, of course. she just hated it when that stubborn tone of hers took over. it made her seem like a child. and it had taken years for her to gain access of being labeled as an adult around the family. not that it mattered anymore.
jullia was tired. she really was. but something inside of her kept her from falling asleep on the counter in front of her. she looked up at camden, his voice sounding again. she didn't know what to say. she was emotionally drained because of the bouncing of emotions in one minute. happy, loved, hurt, angry, calm, tired. and a minute had gone by. she imagined herself dragging camden to one of the couches settled in the back corner of the cafe, curling up next to him and falling asleep in his arms. but he wasn't good with girls. he wasn't experienced with relationships while she was in a way. nodding slowly, she gave him a tiny smile. though she still was a bit hurt when he had rejected her invitation. just the fact of someone rejecting her so willfully was an overwhelming thought for her. "where are we going?"
she asked quietly, pushing herself up off the chair and grabbing it by the back handles of the seat. with all the strength she had left in her tired body, she lifted it up off the floor and slid it carefully onto the table it was on. for once out of this whole night, it had just occurred to her how quiet it was. how silent it all was during this hour. jullia turned around from her spot, a hand raising to fix the bow on the side of her head. she was ready to do anything; just as long she wasn't padding the trail back to her street. the only thing she wasn't ready for was to face her dad. her eyes flickered onto camden as she waited for him to answer, she could still fill the warm tint to her cheeks. if camden were like every other guy, she would be walking out of the cafe right now.
Re: liquor and love lost; camden! « Reply #13 on Sept 29, 2008, 7:58pm »
i don't know about you but i came to dance. cloth on my body. -------------------------------------------
camden probably hated himself more in his life than he did at any other moment. and that was a big deal. there had been plenty of times he had hated hisself. the whole time he had lived with his parents when he was younger, cam had completely hated everything. mostly he hated his life and his parents but he also hated himself. cam completely dispised the fact that everyday he just kept letting things happen. he let his mother be a fucking whore all the time and did not ever say anything about it to her. he let his father do whatever the hell he wanted to him, his mother and anyone else that was around. camden never stood up to his father or told his father no. not even once. he just let him do anything and everything.
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